Caution Construction...

Last night on my way home I came to a the realization that I am under construction. For the last year God has been at work on my soul, building a stronger Christian day by day. First he lead my father, a man who had been out of church for at least 20 years, he was broken, and depressed, he never smiled never laughed and was truly unhappy; to a church that has fired him up. The Lord has brought my father back to the land of the living with renewed hope and faith. This was the first step in my construction as well, one Sunday, after he had asked many times, I decided to go to church with my father and step-mother. The message that day was about sitting at the Lords table, and what an honor that is, the music and the message touched me, brought tears to my eyes, that was the first chip away. After that Sunday I had the thought, I wasn't wide open for the Lord, but the thought was in my head, I began to see what affect my words and thoughts had on me and on other people. I began to realize that I was not a nice, or good person, not the kind of person a child of God should be. Then for Christmas my father and step mother bought me a beautiful bible, an awesome bible, trueidentity the bible for women! It sat next to my bed for months, never once leaving its protective box. I would think, If I knew what verse to read I would, but I don't know where to start, maybe tomorrow. Then one night in April I had this strong urge to read God's word, I hate to say but I don't remember what I read I just remember that it made me feel great. My husband and I had been going through a tough time in our lives, we only had one car and we were trying to share and no money to even think about buying a car and no way to finance one, and having to move back in with my Mom because of bad financial decisions on my part, so it was hard on us. The day after I picked up my bible, all day at work I thought about the way it made me feel, and how I used to be so fired up for Christ and then some how I just slipped into this world of darkness. I had to walk to school that day from work, which really isn't far, and it was a nice day. As I walked I thought about my life, and my husband, and the burdens that I have carried alone so long and I began to pray. I remember praying for safety for my family and myself, I remember praying for my husband and I and our marriage, and a little help with our current situation. I walked and prayed for everything I was thankful for I realized how blessed I am and thanked God for every ounce of it, and then it happened, the devil knew what was up and didn't like it, a car of teenage boys drove by with there window open and started yelling at me, just awful things. Now generally my reaction for this would have been to cry and take every bit of what they said to heart, the words would haunt me for days and I would cry some more, but something weird happened on this day, I didn't cry, I didn't take it to heart, instead I prayed for those boys. I asked God to forgive them, they didn't know any better. I asked God for the strength to let it go, and it was gone... Wow! was all I could think, I've gotta do this praying thing more often! So I began praying more and more, not just when I needed something like in the past, I began to open my bible more but I didn't know what to read so I decided that I wanted to buy a devotional journal. I talked to my friend Jennie about it and we decided that after work one day we would go up to the Christian book store and see what they had to offer. So, we went and we both found something that caught our eye. Now I had guide, alright, I began to study this little journal, and read the passages. I remember going to work one day and telling my friend Jennie that I wanted to be a better person, I wanted to be the kind of person that God wants me to be. A couple of weeks later my aunt offered me a pair of tickets to a Casting Crowns concert, she had a previous engagement and didn't want them to go to waste. I took them and invited my step mother, she loves concerts. So we went, right off the bat we had GREAT seats, the band came out on stage and began singing, the crowd was on their feet. I knew some of the words and I sang a long to what I knew, but something happened in this concert, all of those people praising the Lord. I absorbed the words to those songs like a sponge, they moved me and I felt the Spirit there, and again tears came to my eyes. The next day I told my friend Jennie all about the concert and how much I loved that music, she told me about a radio station that she had started listening to 106.9 the light, Christian radio, I started to listen to that radio station and I still haven't turned my dial. I listen to song after song, message after message and suddenly I couldn't get enough so I started talking to my dad and he brought me some recorded messages from his church. The more I listen the more I want and the more the devil tries to beat me down which leads me to doubt the word of God. Not to long ago the devil REALLY tried to take me down, and it almost worked, but I got in my car and I prayed, I prayed hard, then I turned the car on and the radio was playing "I'm in better hands now" by Natalie Grant, and I knew that song was just for me. The Lord has taken his chisel and slowly chiseled me out of the rock I've been under, I am on fire!!! I know that I can't go a day with out the word of God or I start to slid back a little, but honestly I don't want to go a day with out it. He has answered my prayers and has given me renewed hope and faith. God is at work in my life, and I am under construction.
Jen C.